And then it hit me...

Something as simple as a phone call, email, text, or i/m from a friend that changes everything.

Tonight a really good friend was like "you have to listen to this song" so I pulled it up on youtube, listened to the song and just kept listening to other songs by them. The band is Tenth Avenue North and I had previously fallen in love with their song, "By Your Side" well now I can say I'm addicted to most of their songs. They are just so real and the lyrics are basically the definition of my life recently. So I'm listening to that and it got me thinking about the past few months...



Since January I can say my life has changed so much. It's scary sometimes to think about just how much I have changed.

-- My friends. Yall are one major part of my life that has changed. I have made some amazing new friends that I have no clue where I'd be without them! Old friends have stepped back into my life and I couldn't be more thankful. It is my friends who have gotten me through the tough times and made me laugh when the world felt like it was crashing down on me. I don't think I could ever repay each one of you for what you have done for me and how you have helped mold me into what I am today and who I will continue to grow into.

-- My career. No, I didn't change my major, but I have a more open mind about my career. A few weeks ago all I wanted to do was teach and coach and one particular school because it meant so much to me. Now that couldn't be further from my perspective. I am ready and willing to do whatever is necessary to teach at a school where I am appreciated and I love my job, no matter where it is. I'm ready to start my one program and create my own legacy.

-- My personality. I have become a much stronger person. I have learned so much about myself and trusting others in my journey. I have realized how much I was being taken advantage of and it was about time! I now know where I need to be and am striving to reach that goal. I am still caring and loving just as much if not more now. I have truely grown to appreciate who I am and what I have become. I am still working on toughining up and not being so much of a push over. I'm tired of just taking shit from people and conforming to what they want me to be rather than being myself.


Sometimes I feel as though I'm living under a microscope where everything I do is being critiqued and I'm getting in trouble for things that I didn't even do and things I didn't even say. That kinda sums up my feelings about coaching. By being a little over a week out of the situation and still not knowing what I did wrong is still really puzzling to me. All I was told last week was that I had to wait two weeks and then we would have a meeting. Now I'm not really sure if I even want to go to this meeting. I was talking to an old friend toinght and he was telling me how sorry he was about the whole situation and you know I'm totally over feeling sorry for myself. I had my little bout with depression but am done now and trying to move on. Of course it will be hard because those kids are my heart and I have become such good friends with some of them. But our friendships won't change, in fact they'll probably end up getting stronger. Of course my heart will be hurting a lot this weekend knowing that they are going to the state tournament tomorrow, Friday and Saturday and knowing that I can't be there to support them. They know though the circumtances I've been placed in and that by no means does that mean I'm not supporting them every step of them way. I've spent too much time with them just to not worry about them this weekend. Things have occured that break my heart and anger me because I see things happening and me getting in trouble for them but others doing so much worse and it just being overlooked. But I suppose life is unfair and there is nothing I can do to change it right now.

Well, the rainy weather is begining to put me to sleep so I'm heading out.

Love always and forever!