I'm Done!

So... I was to preoccupied with drama and attempting to study for finals to post last night! But... now I'll be posting more often since I'm finished with school until January! Hopefully, having one less thing to worry about will allow me time to comprehend everything that has been going on lately. I just have to get through this weekend first!

I'm so ready for things to be "normal" again. I was talking to someone yesterday and made the comment about how "different" things were this year, she made the comment of how broad of a term that is. That is why today I've put both of those words in quotes, although they are no bigger than nine letters put together, they hold so much meaning and emotions. By "normal" I don't at all mean perfect. I mean sanity, calm-ness, laughter, uninterupted sleep, organization, hope, and love. I know that as much as I want things to be like they used to be I know they won't ever be, no matter how hard I try or how much I wish it weren't true.

In order to better explain the chaos, I'll break it down day by day.

Yesterday started out great... I cried, but for a completely different reason than I have been these past few weeks. I cried because I was laughing so hard. It had been forever since I laughed that hard, and sadly I don't remember what was so funny! It was an overall crazy day: distributing my time between speech and other things in the library. I ended up having a pretty productive day. Yesterday afternoon is when things got kinda crazy. I subbed and then supervised my first team meeting by myself at work. It was definently crazy and stressful and overwhelming, especially since it was on the spur of the moment. I had to yell a few times but they finally listened. I was quite a bit overwhelmed and flustered by the time I left work at 6ish. I was confident in my abilities for the first time in awhile which was amazing for me. I had another breakdown again last night because of work, but I actually told someone with more authority than me how I felt and how fustrated I was. I know that I can't do this forever, emotionally or physically. I talked to a few people last night and have a bit more positive outlook on the future. I know that I care a lot, sometimes too much for my own good because I tend to take a lot to heart and it tears me down. I have to work on that, on being there and supportive but not beating myself up about it. So eventually I got home and was supposed to start studying for this morning's final and finish the take-home part of that final. I really didn't start doing anything until like 8:30 last night and fell asleep by 10:30. I was supposed to wake up and study first thing, but that didn't happen.

Today started with my cell phone ringing at 5:30ish this morning. It ended up being one of the people I talked to last night, so I immediately thought something was wrong. Fortunately, I was wrong. They had called to tell me to go outside because it was snowing. At first I didn't believe them... but it was so true. Yes thats right, it snowed in Southern Louisiana today! So needless to say rather than studying for my final, I played in the snow! It snowed enough for my brother to make snowmen, a snow angel and countless snowballs. It was so much fun! Once I finally got to school to take my final, I only had like 15 minutes to study. I took my final and am not too sure how things went. All I know is that it only took me like 30-40 minutes to take it! At like 10ish this morning I headed off to work and ended up cleaning the classroom, rather than finish cutting my book. Now that school's done with, I have a stack of like 8ish books that I need to cut! I'm quite excited for actually attempting to get them done! So after I got to work, I decided to start cleaning the room which unfortunately you can't tell I've done anything! Today was a lot less emotional and didn't waste anytime.

Well, I'm exausted so I'm going to bed. Hopefully I can sleep pretty late tomorrow morning just to be able to relax and catch up on sleep. I have a tournament this weekend and then the Christmas party on Sunday. Until tomorrow...