Life: An Update

I know I know, it's been awhile since I've updated but things have been pretty crazy!

My outlook on things has changed drastically with the help of some uplifting friends and life slowing down just a bit. Is everything perfect?... No, and it will probably never be. I know that and have accepted that. Every task taken on in life was put there for a reason and will challenge us to no end, but we will prevail and become a better person from the lessons learned from our troubles -- (that makes sense in my head, I hope it does on here as well)

I have encountered some new and challenging experiences as well as some old but still quite challenging ones in the time I was away from updating...

- About two weeks ago I stared my new part time job for the summer. I absolutely love it and hate it at the same time. My first week there was really emotional for me and I didn't quite know if it was going to work out. I literally came home from work everyday in tears because I was frustrated, felt incapable and just all around upset. I started on a Monday and was just observing the previous teacher in the classroom and that sort of thing. By Wednesday, I wanted out... I wanted nothing to do with it and was just done. I felt like there was no way that I was ever going to be able to be good enough to be trusted with 14 - 3 year olds. I felt like a failure because the kids wouldn't listen. I questioned my future profession because I just didn't know. I guess I was under the impression that it was going to be an easy job. That night and the following morning a lot of my time was spent in prayer desperate for guidance and a sign as to what to do. It was so bad that I got to the point where I literally said: "okay God, when I get to work today I'm going to go quit... I have nothing else to do". His sign for me that Thursday was Ms. Jennifer not being in her office for most of the afternoon. By the end of the day, He had gently assured me that things were going to work out and He would let me know if they weren't! Praise God! Once I regained confidence in my skill, I was informed that Monday when I came to work I'd have a whole new class of students. This was yet another huge adjustment with tons of new challenges. First, these new (younger) class of three year olds are not completely potty trained yet. So of course we have accidents that I have to address and clean up. Some of the kids, I'm not actually sure if they are ready for my classroom. In this class I have 3 girls and 11 boys... and they are a tough bunch! I am finally beginning to feel comfortable disciplining and having them listen to me which is exciting for me!

- Working with the PreK-3 class, I now am certain that my calling is high school kids. I don't think I could tell kids all day not to eat grass and make them go potty every 30-45 minutes. True story: I had a little boy in my class the first week I was there who called the grass celery and ate it. He would also eat those little clover flower things. So I had to have a conversation with him to get him to stop. The first thing that came to mind was rabbits. So I said... Parker are we rabbits or boys? He said boys. I said good, and what do boys eat? And he responded with lunch, snack, and dinner! I couldn't help but giggle and let him know he was right and not to eat grass again cause that's for the rabbits. This experience is definitely solidifying my calling to teach older students and it makes me miss my high school kids so flippin much. I thought that by starting out here I was going to be able to put speech behind me but it didn't work out quite that way!

- Work has also taken a bit of a physical toll on me as well. I'm not used to constantly being on my feet and picking up kids every five minutes. It's taken awhile for my hips to get used to that, considering my past challenges with my hips. So I've had to watch how many kids I pick up and make sure when I'm holding them that I switch which hip they're sitting on every five minutes.

- Last but not least... I cut my hair Saturday! I cut about 12 inches off total and 10 of those inches will be donated to create wigs for cancer patients. I'm actually beginning to love it! At first I was really weary because it was so much shorter. It sits right above my shoulders and I have learned that I can do so much more with it and it looks a million times healthier! I actually love that I can wear it down more without it getting in the way!


So... I think that's all I have for now!

Love & Prayers!