Play Week!

So it's officially play week and life is crazy as I thought it would be, but I'm not complaining... yet! hahaha.

I was able to catch up on a lot of sleep this weekend being sick and all. I pretty much slept all day Saturday and took and amazing nap Sunday afternoon. Yesterday, I had a biochem test, ick! It was incredibly hard, don't think I did well at all. Anyway as if I don't have enough going on this week, I got an email from the college that I have to pay a mandatory $50 graduation fee by the end of this week as well as fill out a ton of paperwork (mind you that I don't graduate for another year). So they tell me about this Monday, and that this is all due this week. Ugh. Stupid college. The rest of this week will be spent between class and Angelle Hall and getting all that crap done for COE so I can graduate next year.

On the other hand, life is so much better right now than this time last week. I'm still kind of leary about what I say around her, but I'm better. Still learning and trying not to have my life center on work incase it would happen again I wouldn't be a mess like I was last week. I'm working on reestablishing friendships that I have negelected and doing other things like taking more pictures!

I can honestly say I'm a little obcessed with my amature photography. Friday, I went to a soccer game and took a few... 320... pictures of the game and random other things that I thought were "pretty"! hahaha!

I've go to go get ready for class and finish up some homework before I leave for class!

Until next time, love.

It's been forever...

I have been neglecting posting partially because I don't have the time and partially becuase I'm not too sure whats been going on recently in my life. To say things have been crazy is a huge understatement. School is slowly making me insane and work on the other hand, well I'm not really sure whats going on with that. I'll skip through the weeks I was gone mainly because they are a blur and I don't want to think about them. This past week contained enough emotion to last me a year. It all started Monday when I emailed some teachers for obeservations. A few things happened and I got an email from one of them saying that we needed to talk which confused me quite a bit. After calling on a few friends to help me out and help me to "prepare" for this conversation, I was slightly more confident but still had this really bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. That night, I had a dream that my worst fears were going to come true in this talk and I'd be devestated. Unfortunately, the next morning when I woke up and checked my email that nightmare came true and I was quite upset. Part of that email said, "you've been doing more harm than good". If you know anything about me, you know that killed me. Luckily my jury duty had been cancelled and it was my week off of Analytical Lab. I spent all day in my room in tears, literally all day. I felt like my whole world was crashing down before my eyes. I realized how much my life truely revolved around this activity. I realized that I had pushed friends aside to do speech stuff. Now I was faced with the fact that speech was no longer going to be a part of my life. Luckily, I have some amazing friends who supported me and listened to my cry my eyes out on the other side of the phone or computer screen. Without them I'm not to sure how I would have coped. The hardest part was having to tell the kids. They truely are my heart and I didn't at all want to hurt them, especially since apparently I had already done so. Eventually, I was able to tell a few of them and ended up crying myself to sleep that night only becuase I had class in the morning. The following day, I had class until 12 and then was heading over there to work on some other stuff. It literally killed me and took all that I had to get through that day without breaking down. I was able to see some of the kids who were completely supportive of all that was going on and gave me the strength to get through the day. They even made me laugh which was amazing. Thursday I was there again, all day, and had a conversation with her after school. It was totally crazy and completely opposite of what was stated via email. I left that meeting with my heart semi-mended and knowing that it wasn't completely over. So I'm officially back at work, just not putting as much energy into it as before. Of course my energy is there for times when I coach, but it can no longer be my life. I have to be able to create friendships and such outside of that. That reality hit me pretty hard this week when I didn't really know where to turn when my world came crashing down and was then rebuilt. Some amazing friends have "come out of the woodwork" to listen and advice. You know who you are. Let me just say that to yall I am eternally grateful. It was the group of you that gave me the strength and encouraging words to not give up and not let this whole situation get the best of me. I hope you all know how grateful I am and how amazing you are. I really do know that I have a support system out there! Now after all that craziness and the days of being quite emotional, my immune system was worn down to almost nothing and now I'm incredibly sick with some sort of chest cold thingy. Lovely.

Until next time, I shall leave you with a quote shared with my by a friend who helped me get through the week:

"When we dream for a life without difficulties, remember that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure."